Feeling Cluttered

I live in a two bedroom, one floor apartment, so it's hard to keep it clutter free. We previously lived in a three bedroom house and so we've accumulated a lot of stuff. Mostly because both my husband and I are both pack rats. Okay, I'm slightly more of a pack rat than him. I tend to keep things for sentimental reasons, like the flip flop salt and pepper shakers that he bought me in FL when we first started dating. We do not have a garage, basement or attic, but we do have a storage unit. Our storage unit is so jam-packed, it's ridiculous. We have a lot of furniture in there that won't fit in our current living space--leather chairs, hutch, desk, a few dining room chairs and other random things such as bikes, kayaks, shovels, etc. Also, we have boxes and boxes of my teaching supplies. I can't seem to part with these even though I don't know when I'll be teaching again (notice I used when and not IF). 

I am now realizing that living in a smaller space, we really need to get our act together and seriously de-clutter our home. Our second bedroom, which is supposed to serve as an office/guest room, is what my husband lovingly calls, "the keeping room." Now that we're hoping one day soon we'll be able to transform that room into a nursery, we need to make part of our living room an office space. But before we can even think about that, I'd like to be able to see the bed and the desk in the guest room without piles and piles of clutter.

Since I'm home all day with the cluttered, chaotic mess, I've been starting to go crazy. As a result, I've caught the spring cleaning bug. I've been making lists room by room of things that need to be dealt with, closets that need to be organized, paintings that need to be hung, etc. The problem is the only thing I truly have energy for is making the list. And truthfully, that even made me tired. 

The first big job on my spring cleaning list was to pack away winter clothes, coats, boots and scarves and unpack all things springy and summery.  My husband always tells me I don't like to start something if I can't finish it, which is so true. If I know I don't have energy to tackle the whole task, I won't even start. Probably because in order for it to get clean and organized, I first need to make a big mess. And then if I don't finish, well now I'm living with a bigger mess. This weekend he willingly agreed to help get our closets switched and organized. Also, we finally unpacked one box that we somehow randomly forgot about that's been sitting in our dining room for over a year (No judgement!) In the process, I put together a bag of things to donate, and a garbage bag. And guess where the flip flop salt and pepper shakers went.... GARBAGE! 

On Sunday, I was able to cross two things off of my spring cleaning list. I have about ten more things on the list. (Of course, organizing the guest room is equivalent to about ten of the other jobs.) But it's a good feeling knowing we're getting somewhere. Now that I have my list, if I ever have a day where I have energy after taking care of Raven, cooking, and laundry, maybe I'll get started even if I can't finish.

I should also mention, that I apologized to my husband because I was very enthusiastic about my "let's get organized" mission. I know he works hard in the week and likes to rest on the weekends. I hate to bug him with my Honey Do list. But he said, "I don't mind. I like helping you out." Did I mention I married the most amazing man? In November, I wrote a post dedicated to him. If you haven't read it already, here is my blog post about Steve.

I'll Just Ride on the Backs of the Angels Each Night...

So I'm back from Florida. As tempting as it was to stay in the warm weather, I'm happy to be back home! I had a wonderful trip. It was very relaxing! I slept well and felt okay for the most part. It's always tough coming home and recovering from traveling. A few days after I came home, I saw my doctor to go over test results. She was concerned with a few things and wants me to put my dream of having a baby on hold for a few months. I know she's probably right, but it was still hard to hear. On top of that, she had me do a liver cleanse that pretty much knocked me out for a week. So it's been a down week for me both physically and emotionally. I'm too sleepy to write too much about it now, but I just wanted to share a song. 

"Poughkeepsie" by Over the Rhine is probably one of my favorite songs of all time. I remember being captivated the first time I heard it live at a college music festival. I was instantly an Over the Rhine fan.

Here are just some of the lyrics that really speak to me:

Then the skies, they fell open
and my eyes were opened
to a world of hope falling at my feet.
Now I've no more or less
than anyone else has,
what I have is a gift of life I can't repeat.

So I go up Poughkeepsie,
look out o'er the Hudson
and I cast my worries to the sky.
Now I still know sorrow,
but I can fly like the sparrow
'cause I ride on the backs of the angels tonight.


I know this isn't the best quality of video but I like what Karin has to say about the song. Over the Rhine is an amazing band to see live so hopefully you'll see why I was captivated.

While searching for this song on You Tube, I found a video of my friend, Allie Moss, singing the same song. Equally amazing voice in my opinion. Make sure you turn the volume up!

Trying Not to Crash Before My Vacation

In four days, my husband and I will be leaving for a much needed vacation. We will be spending seven glorious days in the Sunshine state! We will be staying with my in-laws in Palm Beach Gardens and being that they are very supportive of my health situation, it should be a very relaxing trip.

I'm trying to pace myself carefully this week. I have a lot more to do than usual and I don't want to be worn out and exhausted before my trip. So I made a list of all the things I need to do and I'm doing a little each day. Right now I feel like I should be doing something, but instead I'm forcing myself to rest! I haven't been sleeping well this week either!  I really wish my brain had an off switch! I guess I have too much on my mind.  I was supposed to see my doctor yesterday but some of my test results didn't arrive yet. I'm hoping that I get to see her before I leave. However, I don't want to over schedule myself. 

I'm not sure if I'll be able to blog while I'm away. I may be too busy soaking up the sun (aka Vitamin D :)

One more thing, to all of my CFS friends, I'd gladly appreciate any tips on how to make traveling easier. I know this isn't going to be too tough of a trip since my husband is coming with me and it's a short flight. But managing the airport can be rather exhausting!!!

There is a Reason for it All

I've been having a rough few days. It seems like I can't get out of this crash. So I thought I'd share this song by Alison Krauss and Union Station. The lyrics pretty much sum up how I'm feeling right now.

There is a Reason
Lyrics by Ron Block


I've seen hard times and I've been told
There isn't any wonder that I fall
Why do we suffer, crossing off the years
There must be a reason for it all

I've trusted in You, Jesus, to save me from my sins
Heaven is the place I call my home
But I keep on getting caught up in this world I'm living in
And Your voice it sometimes fades before I know

Hurtin' brings my heart to You, crying with my need
Depending on Your love to carry me
The love that shed His blood for all the world to see
This must be the reason for it all

Hurtin' brings my heart to You, a fortress in the storm
When what I wrap my heart around is gone
I give my heart so easily to the ruler of this world
When the one who loves me most will give me all

In all the things that cause me pain You give me eyes to see
I do believe but help my unbelief
I've seen hard times and I've been told
There is a reason for it all

I Did the Unthinkable....I Threw Out My Leftovers!

Those who know me well, know that my favorite part of going out to dinner, besides not having to clean dishes, is having leftovers! I love leftovers. Forgetting my leftovers at the restaurant or having someone else eat mine can seriously ruin my day! 

Last night Steve and I went out to one of my favorite Italian restaurants. Usually when we go out for Italian, I order sauteed spinach and tilapia with a tomato sauce. I seriously order the same thing EVERY time. However, our main motive for going out last night was strictly health related.  My doctor wants to run some tests because she is concerned about the digestion/ IBS issues I have been having lately. She told me I had to add some things back in my diet before the test, like wheat. Let me tell you, she really had to twist my arm. So out we went. (I rested all day in preparation for our date night!)

Before we placed our order, I sipped my water and watched Steve dive in to his first piece of bread. Wait, I thought, for research purposes only, perhaps I should have a piece of bread. So I poured some olive oil on my bread plate and dipped a piece of bread in.  We ordered a small pear salad with gorgonzola cheese to share and then for my entree I ordered my absolute fave, penne with vodka sauce! This is a meal I used to typically order when I was healthy. Well I noticed that I wasn't even halfway through my meal and I was stuffed. I'm just not used to eating such a heavy carb load.

I was expecting to be happier after eating my favorite meal. Instead, I felt overly full, bloated, and had stomach pains. I don't know if those symptoms are caused by the foods I ate or the fact that I ate too much. My doctor thinks I may have food sensitivities that could be causing some of my symptoms. This could be true because last spring I was feeling better when I was gluten free, grain free, sugar free, fruit free, dairy free, etc. This past fall I added some things back into my diet and felt worse. I really don't know what the answer is. I don't think that eating the right foods will cure me, but I do think that it will help me. I did notice that I didn't really have joint pain or body aches when I was on the strict diet. I'm really curious what these tests will show!


So when I went to fix my lunch today, I saw my leftovers staring at me in the fridge. As much as I wanted to eat them, I didn't want to relive how bad I felt last night. So I did the unthinkable and threw them out. Instead, I fixed myself a big salad. After which I didn't have that full, bloated feeling. 

Perfect Therapist

Many people with chronic illnesses find comfort in going to see a therapist. Lucky for me I have found the perfect therapist. She always listens and shows no judgement. She never gives any advice, she simply just listens. She accepts me for who I am and doesn't try to change me. The best thing is I don't need to make an appointment to see her because she's always around. Sometimes to cheer me up, she'll lick my face or cuddle with me. If you didn't figure it out, I'm talking about my dog, Raven.

This was the first time I met Raven. I loved her right away.
I knew she was the perfect dog. What a love!

This is Raven the day we brought her home.
She didn't know what to do with all the toys we bought her!

 We adopted my dog Raven ten months after I got sick. She was almost a year old when we took her home. It was the best decision we ever made. Having CFS can be so lonely and I love having the company of Raven. It should be made clear right now that she is the perfect dog. For a 3 and a half year old labrador retriever, she is extremely mellow and gentle. She's quite content napping most of the day, just like me! She's so sweet, lovable and always happy! It's hard to be down when you're around her. If I'm having a bad crash, she'll have no problem curling up to take a nap with me. In fact when I lost power a month ago, she cuddled with me and helped me stay warm since we were without heat.

It's a big plus that Raven gets along so well with kids. It's
really sweet when Ruby gives her little kisses.

My nephew and Raven are best buds! He loves helping me
feed her, walk her and play fetch with her when he's visiting.




Raven has many playful moments which always make me laugh. She loves to go out and play fetch. Sometimes when she's very energetic she'll crazily run in loops. My husband and I call this her "mad dog run." It's pretty hysterical! It's funny to watch her retrieve sticks twice her size and strut around with them. When we lived in FL, she would pick up palm tree fronds and once she even found a coconut. We've never formally trained her but she is so good. I can take her off the leash to play and she'll never try to run away. She always comes when we call her name or one of her many nicknames. See, I told you she is the perfect dog.

Raven loves to run and leap in the snow. She gets so excited when we go out to play in the snow.
If it were up to her, we'd live where it would snow all year.

Raven even has a good sense of humor. I just finished knitting
this poncho for my niece and I needed a model! haha!



There are many benefits of pet therapy. There is nothing like the unconditional love and loyal companionship of a dog. They never have bad days or get moody. They're simply always happy to be with you. Best of all, they never care what you look like. They love you no matter what!

Raven relaxing with a stick after swimming in Maine.
What a life!





Winter Knitting Projects part 2

I've been busy knitting projects after Christmas. I guess I'm a little obsessed with the color grey! Currently I am working on two other grey projects! I can't help myself!

This is a cable pocket shawl made out of a warm alpaca yarn.





I love wrapping myself up in this cozy shawl. It's perfect for brisk winter days!

 

Grey hat for me, grey hat for my husband


 

This is probably the best angle to really see this hat. It's a cable slouchy hat knit in Berroco Flicker. 




This is probably my new favorite yarn. I love the silver specks!

Steve modeling his warm hat.